Smoke Signals Rough Draft for Essay 3

Dear classmates, 

Please provide me with pointers and things I need to improve on this essay. 

        Thanks

One of the toughest things in the world is learning to forgive. Forgiveness is hard especially if you’ve been hurt badly. Many of us don’t know how to let things go after we’ve said the have been forgiven. Forgiveness plays an important role in the film “Smoke Signals”. It began the role of healing in Victor’s life after all the pain he suffered. Victor took out most of his anger on his actions towards Thomas since he was a child. No child should carry with a pain this big throughout their life.

When Victor was a child his father would always be drunk. When he was drunk he would beat on Victor and his mother. He started to become an abusive man and that led to many arguments between his wife and himself. In one of the scenes in the movie, where we see Victors father leaving in his truck, then Victor starts to run after him wanting to keep him from going. Arnold, his father, grabs Victor and hugs him tight and turns him over to his mother. It then zooms to Victor’s face and all you see is a child’s heart destroyed. Since that day he becomes angry with himself and towards the rest of the world.

Earlier in the film, a fire occurs and Thomas loses his parents. He was the only one that was able to escape thanks to Arnold. As Thomas grows up he develops a special kindness towards Arnold, you could say he saw him as a father role. After Arnold left town, Thomas made a remark to Victor about being fatherless. Victor was already angry enough so this just added to his pot of anger, which led him to aggressively beat Thomas up. But Thomas let it go, because he treasured Victor and they were almost like brother. Victor anger kept growing and he never talked about how he felt to anyone. Most of what he would do is pick on Thomas and no matter what Thomas forgave him. Its like he understood Victor’s situation. Thomas was able to forgive many things Victor did to him.

Victor grew up thinking his father had forgotten all about him and he learned to keep going in life facing like abandonment didn’t bother him. He soon finds out his father died and he has to go pick up his ashes. Not having money, he made the decision to take Thomas’ offer. What he had to do is take Thomas with him to Arizona in exchange for money to get there. I bet Victor was feeling many feelings and sadness at the same time while on the road towards Arizona. When they arrive they meet a Friend of Arnold named Suzie, who hands them Arnold’s ashes. At this point, Victor starts to talk about his feelings and anger that he’d felt since his father left him. He had confidence in her to be able to just open up to her and not even knowing her. Victor then found out that his father would think everyday of him and he regretted all he had done. He really did want to go back but he didn’t have the courage or heart to face his son. When Victor heard this he was relieved. The anger he once felt turned into compassion. The weight on his shoulder was lifted and he was able to get up after being pushed down.

Towards the end, when Victor and Thomas arrive home. Victor gives Thomas some of his father ashes. One of the reasons could have been that since he forgave his father he saw the world in new eyes and accepted Thomas as a brother. After all, Arnold was almost like a father to Thomas ever since he lost his parents. Victor lets his father’s ashes go in the river and he breaks down. His anger had finally ended and he let it all out. It was then he realized he had always mattered to his father and his father was always going to be in his heart.

When you learn to forgive, you become relieved. The anger or sadness you once felt is taken away. Most people don’t let things go for a very long time and they keep it all in. Forgiving is difficult but once you do it you become a stronger person and you learn to see the world different. “Smoke Signals” has many scenes where forgiveness is shown. Victor carried anger throughout his life, which made him miserable to the day where he found out his father always cared for him. He got nowhere with that anger, once he forgave he became a new person and let of the feelings he once felt towards his father.

Extra Credit:Writing about a Film

Usually when your asked to write about a film, it doesn't mean write a summary. Everyone already knows what went on in the film they don't need a replay. What you need to do is pay attention to the things that make up the film. For example in some scenes the director zooms into a character's face, why is that? You need to pay attention to the lighting, shadows, and arrangements of certain elements that make up a scene. To analyze is to break the movie down scene by scene and tell how it contributes to the film. There are many films that are made for the specifics of life, like life lessons, funny incidents and what changes a person. We also need to give credit to the people who make the film possible; the director, producer, and screenwriters. Next time don't just repeat the whole film over again no one wants to rewatch the film. One good hint is to not relay on teh internet as a sources because th information given isn't supportive. Lastly' try not to use "I" because it starts to become misleading.

When I write about a film next time rather then going through the movie over again, I'm going to pay better attention to the techniques the director uses and what is used in the scene. When I am going to start to write my paper I'm going to relay on what I know and the notes I've taken on the film instead of trying to look for backup from the net. I want to write a paper that doenst only show the surface of the film but shows the depth of it.

This is What it Means to Say Phoenix, Arizona

I personally prefer the film rather then story because I feel that the film did a better job of showing a bond between Victor and Thomas. “Nobody talked to Thomas anymore because he told the same damn stories over and over again. Victor was embarrassed…” (p. 62). With this quote it shoed me that Thomas was an outcast and there wasn’t anything at all that Victor and him shared. In the film, Victor’s dad saved Thomas and since then Thomas has seen him as a father like figure.

Victor was always annoyed of Thomas and how he always had to talk and tell stories but he never acted like he didn’t exist. With this quote its like nothing held them together, Victor didn’t even talk to Thomas at all. In the story its like Victor wanted to talk to Thomas but was afraid about what other people would say or think. In the film, whether or not Victor was annoyed of Thomas he still tolerated him because they grew up together, despite the fact that Thomas would say things without thinking about a good way of it coming out. At the end of film where Victor gave some of his father’s ashes to Thomas, it seemed to me that it was a way of showing that he appreciated Thomas and that he is like a brother to him. Thomas looked up to Victor’s father and Victor saw that Thomas admired him so he wanted Thomas to have a little part of his father forever. In the story, the way I pictured it was that Victor felted like he owed Thomas something and he gave him the ashes because Thomas had made a promise to Victor’s father. “ But he said I had to watch out for you as part of the deal… I came because of your father” (p.70). Plus it demonstrated that Thomas went just because he had a good relationship with Victor’s father, not really just to be with Victor at this time.

Smoke Signals

Firstly I would like to say that this movie was great! I really enjoyed watching it. I thought Thomas was a funny character, he's always sharing stories and he talks a lot. I had two favorite parts in this movie. The  first one is when Victor grabs Thomas' money jar and pours some of his dad's ashes into it and gives it to Thomas. I thought this part was special because it showed the bond they both had with each other. At the beginning it seemed Victor was annoyed of Thomas with all his stories and especially because they had to do with his dad. Throughout their adventure you start to see their bond. With Victor sharing his ashes with Thomas showed that he wanted Thomas to have part of someone that was special to him even if that man did start the fire that killed his parents. Part of Victor's dad will always be there even if he wasn't ever truly their and for him to share it with Thomas was huge, he included him just like family.

My other favorite part in the movies was at the end when Victor drives off and goes to the river to spread his dad's ashes. He never had his dad truly with him because his dad ran off. In the movie Susie told him that he was regretful of what he had done and would think of it everyday. He didn't intentionally start the fire or want to run out on him but he couldn't find the courage to go back. When he let his ashes go it was like freeing him from what he had done and also at the same time forgiving him. It was hard for Victor when his dad left then when he realized his dad had died but he never showed much emotion to it, he was just always mad about it. At the end while he released the ashes it also released the emotions he had been feeling for a long time that he had bottled up since the moment his father left him.

Rules For Writers Chapter 51

"An effective researcher is a good record keeper", meaning the information they receive is managed in an orderly fashion. One good thing to do is always keep track of your sources and their information just in case you want to add it to your paper. Without having the accurate information on your sources your audience won't be able to go back and look them up just for further research. If your not well organized when you write, a good way to keep track of your information is to print it out or make a copy.

 Annotating and writing what the source says on the side is a good way of practicing your understanding of what they mean. Sometimes most of us don't mean to do plagiarism but we do when we try to reorder the words or mix some of our own words into what the sources gave us. The main ways to do notes is to summarize, paraphrase, and quoting. A summary is the reading in a shortened down version. Paraphrasing is retelling what you read into your own words and quoting is just picking out the exact words the source says.

This chapter stuck out to me because when I have to write a paper I tend to use the evidence in my writing but the mixed up way. I try to put my own words in with the ones from my source without knowing its honestly considered plagiarism. With this information I now know how to do the three types of note taking, it helps to know what the definition is of each one and have examples shown. This is going to help me when I write and need to back up my thesis or the position I stand in.

Summary for Chapter 47

       This chapter tells us many things that sometimes we forget to consider while we write. When we write we aren't suppose to assume that the reader agrees with what we are saying. What we are supposed to do is prove a point. This chapter tells us that we need to let the readers hear both of the sides and not just one. In your paper you should use concrete details to back up your examples. "Arguments of any complexity containing lines of argument that, when taken together, might reasonably persuade readers that the thesis has merit" (362). Its also good to uses facts but facts that are certain which is said to mean that they've been verified. It can also be good to use examples and illustrations but they can't always stand alone. The point of this chapter is to give you advice and steps that can help improve your position so that when your trying to make a point, the audience may consider you.

       The mistake I usually tend to make is that when I pick a side sometimes I will say something that will go against my argument. This can cause me my chance of getting the audience to agree with what I'm saying. For me these kinds of essays are hard because I find it hard to just side with one option when maybe the other makes sense to. To win my audience I'm going to research better and get all the facts before I start writing. I will also make sure that my facts correspond with my position rather then opposing it.

Shooting Dad

"I will have my father's body burned into ashes. I will pack these ashes into paper bags. I will go to the mountains with my mother, sister, and the cannon. I will plunge his remains into the barrel and point it into a hill so that he doesn't take anyone with him. I will light the fuse. But I will not cover my ears. Because when I blow what used to be my dad into the earth, I want it to hurt" (pg.23).

This quote really speaks to me a lot. At the beginning of the story I noticed that the narrator and her father were described as to different people. The narrator seems to not have much in common with her father, they're the total opposite. It was toward the end when I started to notice that they are the same person. Before this quote they were out in mountains shooting off the cannon. When I read this quote it made me think many things, for example she's going to complete his wish off having his ashes shot out of the cannon he made himself. When she says she's going to do this its like a replay of the moment her and her father bonded together.

It also says to me that a part of her father lives in her. Before she didn't see what they had in common until they were at the mountains. This quote also shows her determination to do this by the way she says "I will" over and over again. Throughout the story she would dislike the noise of gun shots but towards the end she enjoyed the shot of her fathers cannon. When she says she won't cover her ears so she hears the noise, it shows us she likes it and this might just be the last time she hears the fire. She wants it to hurt because it hurts her more to lose her father then to remember the bond they shared.

Summary for Chapter 4

There are tips that I often forget, especially the one where I have to unify the paragraphs around a main point. Having a good topic sentence can point out the thesis and also point out what's going to be said further along in the essay. When you write you should have the sentences that follow behind support your topic sentence.I never really thought about topic sentences. I have written them though but I didn't actually link them with the rest of the paragraph. I also found interesting that some writers like me wander off in another direction for ideas just because we don't have enough evidence to support our topic.

The chapter also talks about patterns of organization. There is: examples and illustrations, narration, description, process, comparison and contrast, analogy, cause and effect, classification and division, and definition. But most of the time examples are used. There is also different types of paragraphs like, narrative ones tell a story or part of a story. Descriptive sketches a person, pace or thing, etc. It states that word repetition is okay only if the words are key and important but vary the words.

The first thing I'm going to try is writing my supporting sentences and then from that writing my topic sentence so that i work forwards in  my writing rather than backwards. I also have ideas of how to organize my paragraphs. I'm going reread some of these tips when I write so I understand what I need to improve on. I want my sentences and paragraphs to link and flow together. I am going to repeat certain words and concept but word them differently so that I do make my point.

Coming Home Again

   This short story is about a boy who is filling in his mother's spot. His mother has cancer and she's dieing. This young boy does what his mother would do for the family. He cooks cleans and does what a mother would do. He attends his mother and tries his best to get things done. The guilt of his mother about letting him go to boarding school is like no other. The guilt she feels is sadness but happiness at the same time.

   While he was in the kitchen his mother had commented that she made a mistake by letting him go off to boarding school if she had know that she was going to die. Then she reacted and said it was better for him to not see her get worse each day. I think it would have hurt her more to let her son see her die a little more each day. Life does go on and as a mother she wanted the best and probably didn't want him to suffer. In her head she probably thought it would hurt him less and he would be able to live on. He did live on but he kept the memory of her and wonder about her and what she was doing. He'd see the image of his parents when they pulled over as she was dieing, but he didn't suffer just like his mother thought he wouldn't. He did suffer but his mother would be proud of how he got through.

Summary Chapter 3

There is a simple piece of advice that's some people leave out. Revising is an important step. It's a good thing to write your draft and then put it aside for a while or even over night. It's also good to put yourself in the audiences shoes. While you revise you should ask yourself questions like, "Does this make sense?" "Is the information accurate?", etc.

Revising is also editing the paper by fixing grammar errors like, punctuation. If you reread you will be able to catch errors you did not see the first time. Another good way to improve your essay would be to let other readers read your essay and give u feedback on what could be changed or improved.

I'm going to take this advice by writing my own rough draft one day and rereading it the next. I will also have two people read it as well, so what one doesn't catch the other does. I will also try to use the feedback as suggestions so I can improve my essay.

Summary For Chapter 2

    When you are about to start an essay you should first do a rough draft. A rough draft can be built using an outline, free write, list, or a diagram. Your rough draft should practically be messy. Joan Didion said, "I write entirely to find out what I'm thinking, what I'm looking at, what I see, and what it means."
    
    Your introduction should say what your body paragraphs will be about and point out the main idea which is the thesis. The body paragraphs develop support for your thesis. so always have a tentative thesis before you start writing. When its about time to wrap up your essay you write a paragraph that's called a conclusion. A conclusion helps the reader remember what the thesis is and what your essay talked about. By the time you write your conclusion your readers should have understood your main point. At the end of your conclusion you could give advice, an image, or a quote to wrap it all up.

    Now that I read this chapter I understand why my rough draft didn't seem like an essay at all. I kept putting down ideas and didn't exactly point out the main idea or got to the point. I plan to do an outline and putting an idea in each body paragraph and writing down the ideas that fit in each paragraph. I want to start like a free write, once i have all my ideas i want to take out the useless information and find what the main idea is to make my thesis. Then finally editing my rough draft so i can do my final essay.

Essay 1 =)

           In my life I've had some tough times and I didn't think I could make it through but I did. This picture is the symbol of hope and faith for me. Here's a little background on this picture. I used to not believe in miracles or anything until I accepted Christ. I followed him and started to pray and trust him. I fell behind and i let him go but with the separation of my parents he called me back. I started to pray and hope to him that things would get better. I had to have some faith and let life go through its course or it wouldn't do any good. This symbol is an image that can remind you of many things.

Sometime many of us hit bumps in our lives and we feel like we cant get through them on our own, and that we need someone with us to help us. this image shows us that we need to be strong and have hope that things will get better soon. We shouldn't give up so easily. I can be very sentimental sometimes and its hard for me when things go wrong and i cant deal with it. When i see this picture it helps me relax and  see that there's a reason for all that's happening. It helps me realize that I need to be patient and have faith and hope that things will be better. When I know i need to have hope and faith this image pops into my head because they're two hands together in prayer mode ready to pray and let life go on. Sometimes it hard when your in a situation like with my parents separation to have hope and faith that things will be okay.

This image is connected with me in every way. Its what helps me go on in my life when I feel like I can't. this image means a lot to me its kind of what runs my life. It motivates me to keep going and put things that are going wrong aside and know life keeps going even when you feel down. When i see this image it brightens up my day and it reminds me when i was younger and wouldn't really know what was going on and i would always say things will be okay. Now I know that things change but there's explanations. like my mom always said "when one door closes another one opens".

The Ways We Lie

Is it possible to tell lies and still be an honest person?

I think that you can be an honest person and still tell lies if your willing to fix them. I have told lies so it wouldn't hurt people so that my feelings wouldn't be known but it killed me inside. I later had to come clean and try. I think I am an honest person but sometimes at that moment I can't necessarily say everything is fine.

Sometimes people don't mean to lie they do it in the moment but most people feel guilty and come clean. I know i do. I don't think some people mean to lie, it just happens sometimes and they end up thinking about it so much that its guilt getting them. There are many people that use lies as an advantage and its horrible because they hurt many people and sometimes when its to late they realize it. I guess better later then never right?

Being honest can mean many things. Its they way you tell the lies that can make you not honest. an honest person is someone that tries to fix his or her mistakes and doesn't try to make the lie bigger and bigger by telling more lies. A person who wants to come clean and tries to fix their lies is becoming honest, instead of  letting it go and keep it going. I'm an honest person and I have lied but I do fix it right away because I can't keep a lie. I'm sure you can tell lies but be honest, you truly can.

Summary for Chapter 46

Diana Hacker shows us various ways that can help us understand a text. First she tells us to annotate meaning jot down questions and thoughts while we read so that we can look back without having to fully read the whole text over again. It can even help us understand the sentences in the text. Also underlining certain words that intrigue you can help hint the meaning. She recommends us to reread the text because sometimes we will catch our concepts that we didn't catch the first time. Next you need to gather the author's thesis and key points together and put them into your own words so that you have a better comprehension of the message.

The next step is to summarize the text, meaning that you state the work's main idea and key points simple and accurate. You have to begin with finding the thesis and breaking it down into a few major and minor ideas. Summarizing is like answering the question of what the text is saying. While analyzing means you separate the whole work into parts that you can study and fully understand.

I think these concepts will help me improve my writing and summaries so that I can put the text into my own words. I want to annotate the main ideas by underlining key words and highlighting main ideas that help me translate the thesis of the text. I will also try to put my notes and highlighted main ideas into my own words so that i can understand the writing but in a way that makes sense to me.

"Freewrite Exercises" Dialogue

What is a freewrite?
A freewrite is an exercise that is used to practice good writing. It's whatever comes to your mind no matter if its just a feeling. Its a place that you can express and write without any rules or corrections. Sometimes a freewrite can be confuse as useless writing and pointless. But truly it's a work of art, a masterpiece made from scratch and arranged for perfection. It's where all you words and feelings flow out and are made into words that fill your paper.

What's surprising is that after you finish writing you can look over your work and see what words or passages had the most energy or strength. It's also interesting that the more you careless, meaning not giving full attention, focus, or energy in our free write leads to put more attention, focus, and energy into what you actually write. Sometimes we don't even know that we are improving our writing by simply writing down jibberish. Honestly this is a great way to fix our errors.

About Me =)

            When I was in middle school, I learned more about careers. I had workshops and guest speakers come in and talk about what they did for a living. It was since then that I learned about lawyers and ever since then I made the decision to become a lawyer. I want to become an immigration lawyer because I have seen cases in where there has been injustices made. So I want to be a lawyer that makes the right decision and helps those in need, an honest lawyer that is.
            My educational goal is to finish my general education at the JC and then transfer to a 4-year to continue my studies. Hopefully by then I will have some experience in a law office. I plan to go off to law school and receive my law degree and maybe even be able to open my own law office.
            Entering English 100, I want to learn how to use better grammar and especially be able to improve my essay writing. I want to improve my writing so its more professional then slacking the skills need for it. I usually like to get ahead to get ahead on work that would take much of my time. But I also pace myself by doing a little one day and some more the other day.
            One thing you should all know about me is that I'm a new mom. Most people would have dropped out or took a semester off but not me. I graduated high school and now I'm continuing my education. My daughter's name is Nevaeh and she's a beautiful 2 month year old baby. I want people to see me and be surprised because I made the choice to not slack off. My motivation is my daughter because i want to give her a good life and future. I want her to know that I kept going and I want to be a good role model.